cognitive karaoke

Kodak -- Two Stories

2011-12-24T20:24:00.004-05:00

There are two stories of a more-or-less personal nature that may help explain Kodak's eventual demise, coincidentally both occurring in 1996.

But first, a fair warning that these are not the "oh boy you're gonna get a real knee-slap out of these" kind of stories. These are the kind of stories for those who read instruction manuals and find themselves impressed that the technical nature of the content is accurate and comprehensible, that the font usage and spelling is tended to, and that the love for the product from those who made it in the proverbial corporate basement manages to eek upwards through the floorboards somehow.

First story (this one not so personal):

In 1996 Kodak released their first two consumer-level digital cameras. One of them was the DC25, featuring something as advanced as an LCD-based preview screen so if you didn't like the photo you had just taken you could immediately delete it, thus freeing up memory to take an additional photo. This was important since the on-board storage space (no memory cards of any sort allowed) only held twelve exposures at sub-VGA (493x373 pixels) resolution. I only mention these specs to give an idea of how primitive this device was, compared to current digital camera technology, and how far we've come.

And how far we've come... That DC25 retailed for $600 and it was flying off the shelves, one of them right into my hands. Kodak was well on its way to dominate what would become a healthy, wealthy and (in their case) truly integrated market involving the manufacture of sophisticated hardware components, industrial product and software design, marketing, distribution, points-of-sale, and value-added services (print kiosks, professional-quality blow-ups, etc) where to this day some real cash can be made.

Other, more sophisticated camera models with more storage space and features, were released in a few of the following years and then... they stopped.

What did they do? What they did is they decided that the future of consumer-level photography was, and always would be, celluloid film. After all, the cost of a roll of film, and the subsequently necessary step of development services, would always be more profitable -- per exposure -- than digital. They also bet the farm that producing traditional film stock footage (for TV, movies and the like) was, and forever would be, the medium of choice.

The rest of that, history.

Second story (this one much more personal):

I was a student at RIT in Rochester, NY (Kodak's home base) in 1996. I was assigned, as a class exercise in team work, to partner with a long-time Kodak employee and give follow-through to a professional-level implementation project from start to finish. Perform situation analysis, acquire specs, draw up a proposal, implement, deliver, etc.

Here's what we came up with: Some years prior Kodak had developed internally their own flavor of what is known in the computer technology industry as an "expert system", in this case basically a simple structured text file-based database that allowed a user to, by answering a series of self-directed questions, arrive at the answer/solution/data he needed in order to get on with his work. The pre-existing architecture of this file format (which happened to be called "CCAG", but you could call it "Little Orphan Annie" if it at all suits you) is that each workstation needed to have installed on it (a) its own copy of the CCAG interpreter program, and (b) its own copy of the CCAG data file.

Net problem: Every time the CCAG data file (or the interpreter program) needed to be updated the I.T. person would need to individually deploy to EACH WORKSTATION, off a floppy disk or the like, a new copy of one, the other, or both. For those old enough to remember such horrors, think back to having to update, say, network driver files, then updating config.sys etc, on EACH computer in your company or institution, one at a time, on what otherwise would have been a nice Saturday afternoon playing catch with your favorite imaginary dog.

The solution I proposed was to write a WEB-based CCAG interpreter, so that the CCAG data file would exist, only once, on the web server, and the users would be able to access it using their web browsers through the web-based CCAG interpreter I had written. This way any improvements or edits to the CCAG file need only be done once, in one place, and all users would benefit from it instantaneously and simultaneously. This would not have required changing the format or syntax of their pre-existing CCAG data files, so all of their accumulated knowledge base could be leveraged as-is, and since everybody (yes, even as of 1996) at Kodak already had a Web browser, no additional software need be installed on the user workstations. No confusion, argument, or miscommunication.

And so this I did implement. I presented the working system to my "client", who stared at it, pensively. "Uh... thanks", he said. "This works really well. Wow." He went away, back to do his job the way he always had been, and I never heard from him again, even after applying there for an internship that Summer.

Every year I wonder less why I don't work at Kodak; one of life's little bullets dodged.

Dear Mexico

2011-12-20T20:51:00.000-05:00

The problem with the War On Drugs is that it is the only, last way to make people want war. What a way to make jobs.

As long as you play along, and force cartels to be cartels (because that is the only currently-viable way to move product), you are complicit in this travesty (either explicitly or implicitly; your choice).

So, here's a modest proposal: Let us have it. Declare failure, and our "victory". "You win, we lose; suckers." laissez faire the fuck out of us. We take it up the ass through the border until we can't take any more. Problem solved. And we can all get back to the business of shoveling shit up our nose, but at least it will be real shit, and we won't have to lie about it, and people who didn't see it coming don't have to disappear.

Or do you want a real war?

This, now, here, because we missed it before

2011-12-20T00:26:00.001-05:00

The text, for you, as always, in truth and uncut.

My Dear AT&T

2011-12-18T23:34:00.002-05:00

High Data Usage Alert
Dear JUAN [something],

Like other wireless companies, AT&T is taking steps to manage exploding demand for mobile data. We're responding on many levels, including investing billions in our wireless network this year and working to acquire more network capacity.

As mentioned on a previous bill, we're also taking additional, more immediate steps to help address network congestion and improve reliability. One of these steps involves a change for some customers who use extraordinarily large amounts of data in a single billing period - about 12 times more data than the average smartphone user.

For the current billing cycle, your data usage indicates you could be affected by this change. Here's how it works:

Smartphone customers with unlimited data plans may experience reduced speeds once their usage in a billing cycle reaches the level that puts them among the top 5 percent of heaviest data users. These customers can still use unlimited data and their speeds will be restored with the start of the next billing cycle.

We're writing because you are in the top 5 percent of heaviest data users for this billing cycle. Because we recognize that data usage can change from month to month, you will not see reduced speeds this billing cycle.

Beginning with your next billing cycle, we'll send you a text message if you are approaching the top 5 percent of heaviest data users. We'll also send you a second text message if you cross into the top 5 percent of heaviest users, at which point you may see reduced speeds for the rest of the month.

[and then they go on to tell me what i can do for them and their troubles. blah blah]

The response:

My dear AT&T:

I have a contract with you for unlimited data.

Now: How much less money would you like me to give you? Until I receive a response, you are in breach of contract. Be careful; there's trouble ahead.

Sincerely,

Juan

Thanksgiving

2011-11-26T19:54:00.000-05:00

"like pounding sand down a rathole" -- Garrison Keillor, on Thanksgiving.

Autumn in New York

2011-11-09T13:12:00.000-05:00

Handy Andy

2011-11-05T17:43:00.002-04:00

I don't think tea kettles need to be used to make tea to be kettles.

Why is the hot water tap always on the left?

Cameras used to be rooms you know.

What's the deal with pinking shears? They don't make anything pink.

I once tried to dry myself with a paper towel and my husband yelled at me. I don't know why; he's not a very good tree hugger.

Why can something be doggone but not catgone ?

I collect milk bottle caps; this one's from 1954. Eisenhower was president then. This one has a picture of a bear on it for some reason. This one's blue.

bye bye, andy (1919 - 2011, and always in our hearts, unfortunately for us)

Two and a half men, right there

2011-11-03T23:49:00.000-04:00

I don't think it's fair that I should be made to hate Ashton Kutcher's tits through the writing put across in Two And a Half Men. Seems a bit of an unnecessary Ludovico Treatment. Is Chuck Lorre trying to de-gay us all in the most cost-uneffective way possible?

Also, um... what? Careful with that prosthetic axe, Eugene.

I'm not looking there... I'm not looking there....

In defense of New York

2011-08-28T19:05:00.001-04:00

New York does not like to be in the news. We don't like to hear about what happens, or does not happen, in New York. The last time we had our photo on the front page of the world's newspapers a lot of people died and we don't like that sort of thing.

Some talk has been made about how New York is the world's most self-important city (fair) and how a stiff wind and some drizzling is eating up all the oxygen of the news media. I just want to go on the record and say we don't like this. We don't like it any more than you do.

As the saying goes, people go to New York to be alone. True.

We don't enjoy this coverage. We want it off the newspaper; that's certainly not helpful. We want it off the cable news. We want our local TV stations to just go back to showing old reruns of Seinfeld or golf on Sunday afternoon. There must be a soccer riot in Africa somewhere that can be screen-grabbed off YouTube. Or a bombing. Can we have a bombing, between commercials for a car sale in New Jersey?

Just stop. Go about your business. This is not a party we threw, thus it's not a party you were invited to. Talk to us next week; I'm sure we'll have a meteor disaster or raining frogs or something else to talk about.

Say Goodnight, Gracie

2011-07-24T11:38:00.002-04:00

(not STS-135 but still a nice photo; "beep beep beep")

I was in second grade when the first Space Shuttle launched. My teacher had asked the day before if one of the students could bring in a TV for us to watch the launch in the classroom. This was before the days of DirecTV, the web (!), cable (for the most part), pretty much anything that involved TV in quantity vs quality. Broadcast TV in Puerto Rico at the time meant 3 stations and a scattering of wannabe's. The notion that "this is going to be on TV without commercial break tomorrow and we're going to watch it" was as big a deal as it sounds. Think Walter Cronkite-JFK assassination and then turn it around.

I remember her closing the windows to darken the room (it was a small b&w set that someone brought in) and us sitting on the tiled floor up-front from our desks around the blue light, not really knowing what the deal was but.....

3....2...1....

and it took off. COLUMBIA.

My other classroom memory of the Shuttle, sadly, was in seventh grade when the principal came in and just blankly said "it blew up". The teacher was not pleased, and not because her class had been interrupted.

Thirteen lifetimes later, it seems, it's over. I'm not sad for the Shuttle program itself; there's always a better way to do something, even if it takes some time. Give it time.

(link & image go to 30 years of Shuttle launches, with nice music)

Ben Stein is an Asshole

2011-05-20T01:13:00.001-04:00

I just want to say, for the record, that Ben Stein is an asshole. This is not a new thought of mine; he's just facilitating the publicity of it. I'm not suggesting that that French guy is guilty; I'm just suggesting that Ben Stein is an asshole.

http://spectator.org/archives/2011/05/17/presumed-innocent-anyone

... because he thinks that some people should be treated differently than others when it comes to crime process.

In case you're wondering who Ben Stein is, this is what he looks like:

Hi Ben! Good luck being treated like everyone else.

For those of you who have not yet found that special someone....

2011-04-04T21:07:00.001-04:00

Click.

A new addition

2011-03-16T11:48:00.005-04:00

So my mom's meet'n'greet with her coop board went well. Looks like the sale is going to happen.

I just found out earlier, as I was walking her into the building that is soon to be her building, that across the street on 72nd lives the last shrink I talked to. That was some years ago.

The awkward part of that is that I recognized the building because of the berry bushes out front, and I remembered collecting some and putting them in my pocket before going in for a session, at the time then.

Most awkward, of course, due to Yoko Ono coming out of the Dakota, next door, waving John Lennon's femur around like a shillelagh yelling "No berry picking.. No berry picking! Sacred berries.. you leave berries be!"

... and what are you gonna do when you've already half-chewed the berries?

Rice-a-Roni -based Pastime

2011-02-18T14:59:00.002-05:00

While I was in Puerto Rico (no connection) recently I got the idea of a new form of haiku: an exceptionally short, pithy poem that would be shoehorned into a particular metric and rhythm... except that instead of following the traditional haiku 3-line form of

5 syllabes
7 syllabes
5 syllabes

... it would follow the metric and rhythm of the refrain from the Rice-a-Roni jingle:

RICE-[pause] a-Roni [pause]: the San Francisco treat!

Some examples:

Sal-[pause] mo-nella: it comes out of both ends!

Kir-[pause]sty Alley: she washes Xenu's car!

Asp-[pause]ber-ger's: Even mom thinks you're weird!

Try it yourself, it's fun!

A Metric Collins

2011-01-28T03:20:00.001-05:00

A Collins is a linear unit of measure.

It describes the minimum distance that one may cast offshore in a rowboat and sing along (boombox optional) to "I Wish It Would Rain Down" at full voice during a deluvial downpour without the neighbors calling the cops.

David Gregory's Head is Huge (pt 2)

2011-01-10T02:03:00.003-05:00

rAs I've pointed out before

Ebert Reviews 127 Hours: "Oh Yes We Could"

2010-11-11T22:14:00.003-05:00

This is a difficult review to take at face value, having been written by a man who had his jaw surgically removed as a necessary result of oncological complications. It almost comes across as a little angry at the end -- having been handed a similar anatomical fate as the protagonist. But of course he must be forgiven (and admired) for that. Nobody I know has been at all close to either type of situation.

But, oh, no, we all couldn't, necessarily.

She wants to go to school

2010-10-30T02:57:00.006-04:00

Both of these images are, strictly speaking, outdated (in that the first was illustrated by Norman Rockwell in the 60s and the latter was a photograph taken in Central America in the late 80s), yet both very much timely.

If only we all had US marshalls (with the right political backing) when push comes to shove.

Now we KNOW the guy is doing it to get his jollies

2010-10-14T12:30:00.000-04:00

Since Jobs's goal from the beginning was clearly to be obstructionist, he could have easily just ignored her email (as, obviously, he does 99.999% of the emails he gets through his public/personal email address, out of simple time-management necessity). But he didn't. He sure didn't.

http://gawker.com/5641211/steve-jobs-in-email-pissing-match-with-college-journalism-student

LOLcats Official History

2010-09-18T07:45:00.003-04:00

I like that the official (that is to say, Wikipedia) history of the term LOLcats involves both the term "recapitulated" and a 1905 photo of a cat in a dress.

Kareoke Machine Contest

2010-09-16T16:50:00.000-04:00

I was contacted by the person organizing an online karaoke contest where you video yourself singing karaoke... In her own words:

KaraokeMachine.org (my site) is hosting a contest for people to submit videos of themselves singing in order to win an all-in-one karaoke machine.

So, click on the link if you'd like to learn the details and participate (or just view hilarious videos of people who think they're talented enough to enter any kind of singing contest ('cause we don't get enough of that on TV as is).

Netflix Lives On - In its various forms

2010-09-04T00:50:00.004-04:00

http://www.slate.com/id/2265755

Most of the article is dead-on, with....

... two notes:

1. Their (and everybody else's) streaming service is crap. The video looks like crap, and the audio is not 5.1 or anything like that (mono, most often). I know that a lot of people don't care about that, but looking forward that is unacceptable (3D?) and that is from whence I speak. Personally, given the choice I would never ever watch a movie streamed off the network instead of off a disc (CERTAINLY if the disc in question was blu-ray), even if I had to wait for it 2-3 days for it to come in the mail.

2. Their streaming service offers no extras (alternate languages & mixes / captions / commentary / making-of's etc etc).

#1 is a matter of network throughput. Given unlimited network bandwidth you can put through the 25GB (blu-ray average) of two hours or so that an HD movie requires. But in practice that's about an order of magnitude higher than even the best home networks can provide (and TWO orders of magnitude off from what my DSL in NYC gets me.. boo-hoo to me, and go figure).

#2 is a matter of software -- creating an end-user interface that allows you to hyperlink via the player / DVR / Apple TV off on-screen choices to various bits of video segments etc. That's not hard in the great/small scheme of things, just a drive to provide an alternate user-end interface to the legacy content of 14 years of standard DVD titles (a pure software driven DVD player -- in real time over the internet -- not likely given copyright panty-bunching).

So, we will continue to see a segmentation between "let me watch the movie (crappy, streamed)" and "give me the whole experience with the extras (full, off a disc)".

Michael Jackson: This Is It

2010-09-03T23:28:00.001-04:00

Saw the Michael Jackson concert documentary This Is It a couple of days ago. Very interesting. Turns out it consists of him coming out on stage and singing the opening theme song of "One Day At a Time" over and over again for an hour and a half until somebody in the audience pulled out a gun and shot him, and that's how he died. Very revealing.

Huckabee Shows Glimmer of Sanity

2010-08-12T13:21:00.000-04:00

When this guy comes across as reasonable you know the rest of the GOP is just fucked. (Or, we all are, in any case).

"'Birthers' fade after passage of law against them"

2010-08-08T21:29:00.000-04:00

Someday, many years after 2016, I will go to Hawaii (I hear it's beautiful) and I will stop by the appropriate government's records office and I will ask for a copy of Barack Hussein Obama's birth certificate..... and I will have it framed.

(link goes to article)

Tanzen Macht Frei

2010-07-14T02:11:00.006-04:00

A 'final solution' survivor does a Gloria Gaynor at various holocaust sites with his daughter and grandchildren.

Who knew Malcolm Tucker was a scientist?

2010-07-10T05:10:00.000-04:00

I played Scrabble online tonight

2010-07-09T02:19:00.000-04:00

Turned out to be a person from Australia I was matched with. Learned the hard way.

She put down "czars" on a triple word (48 pts) and I said "ok fu" [which is my way of saying "great move!"]

The she says [AG=Australia Granny]

AG: "are you kidding me? how old are you?"
ME: "36"
AG: "I'm a granny from australia.. Such talk."
ME: "Didn't mean to upset you".
[a couple of more moves go by]
ME: "How did you get this far without a little bit of trash talk thrown at you?"
[a couple of moves go by]
AG: "Where are you?"
ME: "New York"

[blah blah game ends]

It only occurred to me after that perhaps she would have wanted to chat further, but that also the only two things I would have to say to her are:

"Hey, I saw 'On the Beach' recently... do you like that movie?"

and

"Hey I was in Australia once. I ate kangaroo. Do you like kangaroo?"

My House, Time-Lapsed

2010-07-01T22:26:00.002-04:00

Using one of these

http://www.amazon.com/Wingscapes-WSCA04-Timelapse-PlantCam/dp/B002M2TLLI

(tied to a tree) I shot some time-lapse footage (1 frame every five minutes) of my new house under construction. Here it is:

No-one will be seated during the exciting May 1 - May 7 sequence when fuck-all nothing happens.

Pink Floyd - Dark Side of the Moon QUADROPHONIC Mix

2010-06-13T19:39:00.000-04:00

My Favorite Thing This Year (so far):

There is a QUADROPHONIC mix of Pink Floyd - The Dark Side of the Moon (done by producer Alan Parsons in 1973 at the same time he did the the regular -- stereo -- mix).

If you want to download it via torrent search on google for "dark side of the moon 5.1 torrent" (it's 3.5GB).

(or click here)

Just finished listening to it. I didn't know my ears could do that. It's like listening to the album for the first time (after maybe 1,000 times the stereo one over the last 20+ years). Just make sure you sit in the center of the room, with no distractions. (Don't bother if you don't have a surroundsound setup -- it would be like watching a 3D movie without the glasses).

I'm very happy Google allows me to customize my background picture now

2010-06-10T23:20:00.001-04:00

The Funniest Dilbert Evert

2010-05-24T05:53:00.000-04:00

Hunter Davis is Ian McKellen

2010-05-22T00:17:00.000-04:00

(click and close your eyes)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrQqUQY9d3g

and is in charge

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBi9ikTCC6c&feature=related

and popeye

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tf1doHEBx-o&feature=related

(post link goes to his youtube channel which has a wider variety of stuff.. hit & miss)

Newhart & Martin Talk about a Toupee

2010-05-13T03:11:00.001-04:00

"You sure you worked with Jerry?"

The Problem with Wikipedia

2010-05-10T01:31:00.000-04:00

(and wikis in general)

Lena Horne is dead and Wikipedia is having an awkward time of it.

Hitler, for real

2010-05-06T00:41:00.002-04:00

When you prick the planet, does it not bleed?

2010-04-30T02:12:00.001-04:00

The oil slick could become the nation's worst environmental disaster in decades, threatening hundreds of species of fish, birds and other wildlife along the Gulf Coast, one of the world's richest seafood grounds, teeming with shrimp, oysters and other marine life. Thicker oil was in waters south and east of the Mississippi delta about five miles offshore.

The leak from the ocean floor proved to be far bigger than initially reported, contributing to a growing sense among many in Louisiana that the government failed them again, just as it did during Hurricane Katrina.

http://www.ktvu.com/news/23303273/detail.html

A visual update [5/13/10]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYFYVNvgg-A&feature=player_embedded

Bravo Foxtrot Foxtrot

2010-04-24T02:44:00.001-04:00

That must have been a huge settlement check

2010-04-18T21:25:00.000-04:00

"The Big Apple Circus is a great family event. The kids especially enjoyed Bello's performance. The accident was a fluke (getting hit by lightning is more probable), but the most important thing is the kids are fine and our understanding is the performer is as well," the children's parents, Lou and Patricia Imbriano, said in a statement.

The Human Centipede

2010-04-10T16:33:00.001-04:00

Apparently it's real.

People are crazy

2010-04-03T22:38:00.001-04:00

Midtown NY today (video: people lining up 500 deep to buy an iPad)

If I had bought the original iPhone, my iPhone right now would not be able to use the 3G network (and some other stuff) and would have cost twice as much.

Why in hell are these people lining up to buy a product that is crippled in significant ways, by purposeful design by its seller in anticipation of the next marketing wave for V2 ? I consider myself an early adopter, but I've also lived long enough to know that buying the first of anything is a losing proposition.

I guess this means I'm married

2010-04-03T13:26:00.002-04:00

Pooch and Squish, naked as we came

2010-04-03T02:42:00.002-04:00

Listening to Iron & Wine

Pink Floyd Wins Legal Battle to Only Sell Full Albums Online

2010-03-11T23:08:00.004-05:00

I like this this entry on Gizmodo, written by furniture-fucker Adam Frucci, which points to a British High Court decision that that Pink Floyd's contract with EMI prohibits individual songs from their albums being sold individually.

I'm not usually one to cheer limitations on online (sold or otherwise) media, but I do cheer anytime people will choose to PAY for Pink Floyd music and are actually forced to, you know, listen to the whole album, as people were expected to in the 70s. Get with the program -- you don't just watch the Star Gate sequence from 2001: A Space Odyssey and get to call yourself a Kubrick fan (or know what the hell you're talking about in any context).

From the BBC News article (linked to from the Gizmodo entry):

In court, Chancellor Sir Andrew Morritt said the contract contained a clause to "preserve the artistic integrity of the albums".

I have no sympathy for people who are as a matter of course willing to pay the iTunes- / record company- tax just so they so they can get "Another Brick in the Wall" or "Comfortably Numb" tracks without having (getting to) listen to the entirety of "The Wall" album. Fuck 'em. I say: "Let them crash."

On the other hand, those that care about the quality of the overall piece will get it (for free) as a full-album torrent anyway, so I'm not sure what they're worried about. (GASP..! could it be money?)

Postal Reform: A Modest Proposal

2010-03-02T21:57:00.000-05:00

The US Postal Service is considering cutbacks in service (closing stations, no more Saturday delivery, etc) because people aren't mailing like they used to. Apparently use of the Postal Service peaked at a historical high in 2006. 2006! I thought it would have been much much earlier... I mean, the Internet went mainstream about ten years prior to that, and there had been fax machines for about 25 years prior.

There will always be a need to be able to have a physical object (a signed piece of paper, a stray set of car keys.. er.... birthday cards I guess) sent from A to B. But if the Postal Service wants to continue to remain relevant they have to do a few things:

1. Track every piece of mail. This is a simple service that is attached to every item shipped via FEDEX and UPS. The USPS already has the technology installed (available for an additional fee) so why not allow me to print out a tracking sticker online (or run an envelope through my printer) which then gets put on the envelope / package prior to being dropped in a mailbox. They already sell this service; just make it standard.

2. Charge $1 for every piece of mail, even a single sheet of paper in a #10 envelope, including "bulk"/junk mail. Anybody who expects a physical object to be flown from Key West, FL to Honolulu, HI (or even walked ten city blocks) for less than that is out of their fucking minds. While the Postal Service was traditionally a low-cost alternative to the commercial shippers it was also meant to be self-sustaining (i.e., not a subsidized service from the Federal Government). Charging as little as they do is retarded (Hi, Sarah!). It would also help reduce junk mailing, which can't possible be that profitable anyway in the age of spam email. If somebody has something they really really want you to know about their business they can pay $1 for the privilege.

3. Suspend weekend deliveries (except for priority/premium shipping). If you're only paying $1 to mail something then it can wait until Monday. Otherwise take a deep breath and pay... $5.

These three simple, doable things (which do not require fundamentally new infrastructure / workflow) can allow a valuable service to downsize and right-price for many decades to come.

AVATAR review: "You are a feral prole"

2010-02-15T16:29:00.002-05:00

This is the best review of Avatar I have read anywhere, possibly the best review of a movie ever written. No, I'm not talking about the initial posting by Mark Wilson, but rather the user comment (by DarceyFaloogi) posted after it, which begins (and, oh, this is just the beginning):

McDonald's sells the most hamburgers but they are crap. Yet with your logic, and the logic of the Avatard or Avatar fan, you celebrate crap because its popular. You don't care that the hamburger is responsible for deforestation using slash and burn farming (rather than sustainable rotation), you don't care the ingredients are unsuitable for human consumption. You like the taste and the price. You are a feral prole seeking self pleasure. You want your BREAD and CIRCUS. Doesn't matter if its good, bad, moral, amoral, toxic or not, you don't give a hoot. You want to pleasure your brain.

Enjoy the rest:
http://gizmodo.com/5429424/avatar-review-yes-it-changed-everything-after-all

Must Read: The Human Shuffle / Roulette

2010-02-14T21:20:00.001-05:00

Just earlier today I was thinking to myself.. "I wonder what the next interesting thing on the internet will be". The answer to that question (whether it be 1994, 1999, 2002, 2007) isn't usually about fundamentally new technology but rather a creative repurposing of already-existing pieces (and often revved up with faster computers).

Here we have something that is (a) not commercial, but can be; and (b) initially wild, but doesn't have to be.

The Human Shuffle
by Sam Anderson
http://nymag.com/news/media/63663/

Seven is kind of an early age to have crazy eyes

2010-02-03T22:09:00.000-05:00

http://www.mediaite.com/online/unauthorized-magazine-reveals-sarah-palin-child-huntress-of-alaska/2/

I'm a sucker for good writing

2010-01-31T23:33:00.009-05:00

.. and in particular for some reason when it's done by a Russian (Rand, Nabokov) and I'm diving in head-first when it's about Chess. As a cherry on top in this case, I was nominated along with some other folks for a CLIO award in 1997 for Best Event Web Site -- Kasparov vs. Deep Blue (this link goes to Wikipedia's entry on the events), so I have a dog in the race in a loose way.

In any event, here is a brilliant essay on technology and human intelligence (and of course Chess) written by the guy himself.

An Unusually Unusual Collection of Photographs

2010-01-31T04:23:00.010-05:00

Charles Manson

Stanley Kubrick

Link goes to the more complete collection.

Secretaries vs. Magnesium

2010-01-24T03:38:00.000-05:00

Put this in your CLIO pipe and smoke it

2010-01-22T22:26:00.001-05:00

A not-safe-for-work safer sex ad

A Nice Mouse Car for Conan

2010-01-21T21:34:00.001-05:00

Nice car, Conan.. I guess you're going to ABC..?

Have fun playing in the House of Mouse.

Jon Stewart is Edward R. Murrow

2010-01-12T21:56:00.000-05:00

This is the smartest thing I've seen on television (*) in many months. And to find it within the context of "comedy" is truly mind-bending. An actual in-depth interview with John Yoo, the author of the legal documents which rationalized the use of torture as a means to an end in a "time of war". It really makes one wonder why the only place where he could find a fair audience was a comedy news review show. Either he's doing something really wrong (he is) or they are doing something really right (they are).

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/mon-january-11-2010/john-yoo-pt--1

(*) Never mind that I didn't watch it on TV, since one can only find the eviscerating full-length interview online.

Before & After

2010-01-09T21:43:00.000-05:00

Additional photos of the process found here. Quality construction provided by Galesi Design.

Sell your cameras for food, you won't need them anymore

2010-01-09T02:53:00.004-05:00

The Third & The Seventh from Alex Roman on Vimeo.

(watch full-screen.... you won't be able to tell until about 75% of the way through that it's all CGI.. oooooh I gave it away)

This is how I learn Ground Zero is no longer a hole in the ground

2009-12-30T01:04:00.002-05:00

I live a half mile away (across the Hudson) and the first way I learn that it's no longer a crab hole is that a Subway (no pun intended) is going up (literally) on site.

The Sanctity of Marriage

2009-12-29T21:20:00.000-05:00

Divorced.

A security kludge I can get behind

2009-12-25T00:57:00.000-05:00

Well... it's not like you can steal it until you've used it up...

Eager dandelions

2009-12-05T13:52:00.000-05:00

It seems like the results of Slate's Write Like Sarah Palin contest are in (out?). I didn't make the cut, but I still like my entry:

“As I looked out on the standing-room-only crowd at the state fair rally, their faces lit in the afternoon sun like eager dandelions, I thought of my common-sense ideas, wafting at them from the PA system like a gentle zephyr, blowing through their minds and spreading the seeds of small-government reform throughout our great land.”

But I have to take off my shoes to get on the plane, myself

2009-12-05T01:47:00.002-05:00

The Olympic flame sits across six seats on a plane as it is separated into six different miners' lanterns before leaving Athens, Greece, bound for Canada, on Friday, Oct. 30, 2009. (AP Photo/The Canadian Press, Jonathan Hayward)

(link goes to more-than-complete set of photos of the Flame being relayed....)

The 80s Are Alive And Well

2009-11-26T16:48:00.026-05:00

(well, as well as it ever was).

Remember when all it took to make a crappy repetitive song a #1 chart hit was a mindblowingly inventive, game-changing video to go on deep-dish rotation on MTV? You know, just before Reagan got re-elected?

LA ROUX 'BULLETPROOF' from soyo on Vimeo.

A set (real, and virtual) one pines for the talent to create, married to a song in true period piece form (with the synths, beat box etc)... Tetris.. Tron.. Rubik's (everything), checkerboard shoes.. plastic jacket... Annie Lennox over-gelled hair.. "3d Demo" show-off graphics.... And, for those whose minds tend to such things, the Pointer Sisters'1984 LA Olympics-inspired "Jump" video, with its tiled-background set.

But, whatever you do, don't miss the La Roux spelled out in the real wood scenery at the 0:35 mark. Watch full-screen (click on the little "X" next to the Vimeo logo then hit Play) and enjoy.

And, just to make you feel old, the singer was born in 1988.... about four years after the specific time this video is based on...

What Would Jesus Do....

2009-11-12T15:26:00.002-05:00

.... if he were a priggish bigot?

The Catholic Archdiocese of Washington said Wednesday that it will be unable to continue the social service programs it runs for the District if the city doesn't change a proposed same-sex marriage law, a threat that could affect tens of thousands of people the church helps with adoption, homelessness and health care.

WashPo article

Dogs welcoming soldier home

2009-11-12T00:59:00.003-05:00

Although to be fair, they used to react that way every time he'd come out of the bathroom before he left.

Where you might store gifts for people, such as a....

2009-11-11T06:08:00.006-05:00

Original video

Not Exactly an Amber Alert

2009-11-11T05:47:00.002-05:00

Seen in a Matamoros, PA Walmart (click to enlarge)

Branding FAIL

2009-11-02T16:43:00.002-05:00

The Intrinsic Quality of Logos

2009-10-31T18:37:00.003-04:00

An interesting (and densely informative) article on corporate logos, designers like Paul Rand, and how things sometimes turn a bit weird for both.

If anything, the fact that the same person had designed the Enron logo and the IBM logo seemed to say nothing more than good logos and good companies didn't necessarily go hand-in-hand. Rand himself implied as much in his 1991 essay "Logos, Flags, and Escutcheons," saying "A logo doesn't sell, it identifies...A logo derives its meaning from the quality of the thing it symbolizes, not the other way around. A logo is less important than the product it signifies; what it means is more important than what it looks like." And for those seeking Riefenstahl parallels, Rand adds, "Design is a two-faced monster. One of the most benign symbols, the swastika, lost its place in the pantheon of the civilized when it was linked to evil, but its intrinsic quality remains indisputable. This explains the tenacity of good design."

Found this while researching the rare butterfly of the 13-line version of the IBM logo -- I had always assumed there was only the 8-line version done by Rand. Does anyone know of where to see this specimen?

Two things that keep me up at night

2009-10-29T07:03:00.005-04:00

Sometimes I have trouble sleeping.

Sometimes there is a reason for this and sometimes not. Sometimes it's the rain, and sometimes it's the pipes.

At any given such time, whether there is a reason for it or not, there is always a thought that will present itself as the thing that occupies my mind at the time. Sometimes the thought is whether I should like sports more (yes, really) or whether architecture should be more open and accepting to amateurs (yes, really).

Tonight there were two thoughts which occupied my mind simultaneously, and made me both laugh and cry to the point of leaving my bed.

The first was a mental recreation of a tourist experience I had while visiting a site of Roman archaeological ruins in England, bordering a river by the name of Tyne. Among the building remains were many sub-structures that the site-designers (as the archaeologist-consultants must be described) went to great lengths to explain in the brochures as having served several and many specific purposes (“this is where they cleaned their coins”, “this is where they collected themselves and commented to each other on how clean their coins were”, “this building tells us how important the coins were to them, because it was structurally unsound, and they kept no coins in it” etc). And as we were walking through these various former-spaces I found myself saying to my husband “So… these Romans.. they had a steam bath here… according to the brochure.. and the water went out that way… Wow these Romans really cared about being clean… they went to great lengths to live up to this bathyness thing… you might say that they went all out to bathe in the Tyne daily.” … At which point the American tourists in front of us did an about-face and loudly expressed a happy “oh no, you didn’t.. [shame on you punster]”

The other thought was that Obama might be killed.

The War on Drugs -- Happy 100th!

2009-10-24T19:47:00.001-04:00

A collection of photographs... documenting where we are with that.

Puerto Rico Gets a 9/11 of Its Own

2009-10-23T17:44:00.009-04:00

Early this morning a number of large storage tanks in an oil refinery in Puerto Rico experienced sudden combustible failure. Kaboom (link goes to news story). Causes yet unknown 14 hours later.

Being an ex-pat, the only way I could get visual reportage was via the streamed video provided by telemundopr.com (the main TV station in PR). One of the things that struck me when I saw their anchor broadcasting from the rooftop of the station building (below)....

... is how much it reminded me of another anchor, broadcasting from the roof of another building, not so long ago:

Telemundo, however, has not stopped showing commercial breaks, and has thus wasted no time in creating a neat little scare-o-graphic to act as transition:

I wonder how long before somebody from the Gulf corporation gives them a call and tells them to cut it out.

Philip, on gay marriage

2009-10-21T16:17:00.003-04:00

"What do you think I fought for in Omaha Beach?"

A quick physics / mechanics question

2009-10-15T22:23:00.002-04:00

Does the burning of a rabbit corpse release more energy than freezing a dead rabbit?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/15/heating-plant-burns-bunni_n_322160.html

I know you don't really think I torture cats for fun

2009-10-08T23:34:00.012-04:00

But, if I told you that this is my cat's absolute favorite thing in the world, would you believe me?

Hubris

2009-10-07T18:48:00.005-04:00

Dear Google,

I can't think of any precedent of a company who takes off all graphical or textual references to itself off its product, even if only for a day. This is the virtual press release equivalent to shouting from the mountaintop "We have arrived and we can fuck with you".

Then again, the name is right there in the browser's Location bar... presumably typed in by the user itself.

Still..... celebrating the bar code? The 57th anniversary of the bar code? It's not even a round number!

How about this instead:

1959 – U.S.S.R. probe Luna 3 transmits first ever photographs of the far side of the moon.

(from the same "Today in history" page on Wikipedia you got the bar code thing -- same level of laziness).

I sure wish you would spend less time feeling self-important and accomplished and more time fixing the damn GMail interface. It's embarrassing. Yahoo Mail has a MUCH better interface (rivaling that of desktop Outlook) but unfortunately, in my experience, their performance record is spotty (and not just occasionally). Still, a quick check I've just done shows that, at least today, it's working a lot better. Maybe I'll switch back.......

Love,

Juanolator

"I love picnics"

2009-10-02T15:28:00.001-04:00

Governors Island

2009-09-22T15:23:00.003-04:00

New York City recently (re) acquired rights to Governors Island, which is a small, unpopulated, and mostly undeveloped enclave used as a US Coast Guard station for some decades. It is now being turned into.... well, no one is quite sure yet, but so far a lot of people are enjoying taking the free bike-friendly ferry service from Manhattan and Brooklyn to it on weekends for some traffic-free biking and exploring.

Governors Island Preservation web site.

This link goes to a full set of photos taken by me on Saturday.

Moon Shots

2009-09-06T21:11:00.005-04:00

Last week I took my telescope upstairs and got my first shots through a camera mount I've had for over a year and never got a chance to try out. It basically allows you to attach any camera (pocket sized.. 35mm / SLR.. as long as it has a standard screw tripod attachment) to the telescope and have the lens point right into the 'scope eyepiece. It's incredibly tricky to align it correctly and focus (there's TWO things to focus -- by the time you've got it mostly right the subject has wandered off the frame due to the Earth's rotation...)

There's at least one or two good ones, though... Click on the photo to see the rest.

(I also like the inadvertent "porthole effect" that you get from the edge of the eyepiece appearing inside the shot frame in some of them -- almost makes it look like you're looking at it through the window of a space ship...)

Lubbock

2009-09-05T12:08:00.000-04:00

"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."

- Butch Hancock, Musician, the Flatlanders

Polly Wants a MacArthur Fellowship Grant

2009-09-02T19:24:00.003-04:00

Do you buy this? Does anybody have a link to the full documentary (or some literature that would flesh out these claims?)

David Gregory's Head is Two Feet Wide

2009-09-01T00:12:00.006-04:00

This is a screen grab of David Gregory interviewing John Kerry (who is neither a small nor a small-headed man) on yesterday's Meet The Press. How is it possible for someone's head to appear dramatically larger than that of another person's, which is sitting four feet in the foreground? Is this some sort of blue-screen shenanigan, in that the interview may have been done by the participants remotely?

Two interesting articles about Ted Kennedy and Chappaquiddick

2009-08-29T21:16:00.005-04:00

This

... from which I learned that the incident at Chappaquiddick occurred two days before the first moon landing! The writer is entirely correct in that today's cable news and talk radio would have engaged in wall-to-wall coverage of the former, completely ignoring the latter.

And

This

... from which I learned that Mary Jo Kopechne did not die of drowning, but of asphyxiation, trapped in a car only mostly filled with water, over the course of several hours. My assumption for however many years I've known about this incident is that it was one of those things that happened rather quickly, and while wholly avoidable, could simply be described as one of life's horrible accidents. This new knowledge really brings the moral implications of the act to an entirely new low in my opinion.

But having said that, the second article does also bring up an interesting ethical point, which is that if one thinks of the good/bad that a person's life brings to the world in arithmetical accounting terms, his life is squarely in the black. Fair enough, but I couldn't help comparing this evaluation to the life of another icon which died recently, whose life was considered to be one of monumental contributions to the world, save for one specific act... Could one argue that Michael Jackson's life, in the balance, was one of good, even if the accusations of his being a child molester were to be confirmed? Does that mean that a child molester can be "a good person"? Does this mean that I can be both a thief and a patron, as long as the former is monetarily outweighed by the latter? Most of our lives are a mass of gray-area actions, some not so good, some slightly better than average, but not usually in the extreme one way or another. What can be said of a person who, at a specific time and place, was as horrible as anything that ever was, but otherwise was admirable? What does this mean in the context of law and order? I'm confused.

What do cat owners and 14-year-old anorexics have in common?

2009-08-25T14:00:00.002-04:00

What's wrong with me?

2009-08-05T16:21:00.004-04:00

I see this banner ad on some web site and I immediately think "gee, that's an odd dating service..."

Skating with Prometheus

2009-04-23T00:35:00.004-04:00

Something we did a couple of weeks ago:

The ice really was all fucked up and I was worried about dropping the camera otherwise I would have gotten more "action" footage. (it's surprisingly affordable for the what / where it is.. something like $10 admission + $10 skates rental each person.... I highly recommend it as one of those new york things one absolutely must do, such as fall in love and lose all hope).

(click to skate)

"Fine" ?

2009-02-27T18:25:00.004-05:00

So I went to the Obama Inaugural in DC....

2009-01-26T15:48:00.004-05:00

It was a madhouse. Glad I went (if only because I will never have to do this again in my life, nor will I get to I think).

Some photos of the thing:
http://public.fotki.com/juanolator/obama-inaugural-09/

Some videos of the thing:
http://www.youtube.com/juanolator

My favorite part of the swearing-in ceremony, which actually didn't hit me until well after the fact, is that since the new president automatically takes office at noon, no matter what, and the ceremony was running a few minutes late, it means that the presidential transfer of power actually happened while that lovely, aetherial John Williams piece was playing, and everybody was just sort of silently listening to it in calm and peace. I managed to get some apropos footage (it was called "Air and Simple Gifts") of some birds flying around the Washington Monument while it played and Obama became president. You can see it at the 4:50 point in this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StF__T8ho8I&feature=channel_page

Rather zen I think.

Do you have yours?

2009-01-15T19:29:00.002-05:00

Something I got in the mail the other day:

Planet Earth gets an owie

2008-12-28T20:45:00.001-05:00

Bang!

A question of style for the masses

2008-12-25T15:47:00.003-05:00

Should we put Truck Nuts on our Prius?

And, there this out-of-context blip:

A hunter could still throw a freshly killed and uncovered deer in the back of his pickup, though, because the deer's body parts would be real, Myers said.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/02/22/AR2007022201426.html

This is going to be a hell of a mess

2008-12-22T11:37:00.003-05:00

(Link goes to a NYT article giving, I fear, a too-rosy yet pssimistic prognostication of what the end-user experience will be like on Feb 18)

While not likely to cause as much economic upheaval as the sub-prime lending meltdown, say, or World War II, the switchover on February 18, 2009 to a digital-only television broadcast (making traditional over-the-air reception of television signals obsolete) is likely to be the first case of the general population having a piece of technology that they have had "forever" simply being taken away on a single day, never to come back. Even the next most sophisticated piece of electronics to be found in nearly 100% of homes over the last half decade (the telephone) has changed almost 0% in how users relate to the service.

"Forever", of course, in the sense that you would have to be older than 65 years old to have a clear memory of what it was like not to have it; ironically it is this group who is most likely to be affected by this forced transition since they are the ones who usually need to have any new technology rammed down their throats. And rammed it will be.

It is not hard at all to imagine Black Friday-like crowds rushing electronics stores on February 18-19 filled, not with the mindless cheerfulness of the Christmas shopping season, but with the mindless rage and frustration the only having something that they never paid for to begin with being taken away can engender.

From the article:

Those who have their converter boxes have discovered the “cliff effect.” If the over-the-air signal is not strong, the viewer does not receive a fuzzy picture as he might get with a weak analog signal; the viewer gets no picture at all because digital reception is all or nothing. In addition, depending on area, the rabbit ears intended to receive only VHF broadcast channels may need to be replaced with new digital units.
[...]
And on the day of the conversion, consumers will also need to direct their converter box to scan for channels. (If they want an up-to-date electronic program guide, they will need to have the box rescan the channels regularly.)
[...]
“We’re asking the elderly to go out in the snow to buy a converter box?” Mr. Kelsey said. “All we need on Feb. 18 is to have someone slip off their roof and get injured as they try to set up a new digital antenna.”

The fact that they could have avoided being without service had they redeemed a government issued coupon for a converter box can only be considered a sizable cherry on top. Nothing fires up the average American's joie de vivre like combining the simple everyday act of watching television with the bureucratic equivalent entanglements of filing one's taxes.

Country Sign

2008-12-19T11:09:00.001-05:00

The things one finds when one goes shopping for country farm signs online...

Squish

2008-10-20T19:53:00.007-04:00

I went out this morning to buy a new flapper for my toilet and on the drive back I got stuck behind some cars that were taking an awfully long time to make a simple right-hand turn. It was only after I went a few feet past the intersection that I realized the reason they were moving so slowly is that there was kitten -- a tiny tiny kitten, barely visible against the gray roadtop -- just sort of sitting in the middle of the street, seemingly not sure itself how it got there.

I jumped out of the car so fast that I neglected to first make sure it wasn't moving. Somehow I managed to jump back in, apply the brake, and run back out in time to scoop up the kitten, which now had impatient motorists (who will forever burn in hell jabbed by trident-wielding cats) whizzing past her on both sides. Two or three more seconds and I would have needed a spatula to pick her up.

So, during the rest of the drive home I debated what to call it. "Toilet" was an immediate choice. "Lexington", after the name of the avenue where I found her, was a close second, although I have a problem with pet names of more than two syllables. Eventually I decided on "Squish", which is the last sound she would have made if things had turned out differently.

The Safest Place on Planet Earth

The Voice of God

2008-09-21T11:47:00.007-04:00

As predicted by Paddy Chayefsy in Network (1976): (video)

Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson confirmed [...] that coverage of foreign-based banks is "a distinction without a difference to the American people."
[...]"That's a distinction without a difference to the American people. The key here is protecting the system. ... We have a global financial system, and we are talking very aggressively with other countries around the world and encouraging them to do similar things, and I believe a number of them will. But, remember, this is about protecting the American people and protecting the taxpayers. and the American people don't care who owns the financial institution. If the financial institution in this country has problems, it'll have the same impact whether it's the U.S. or foreign."

Link goes to full interview article; image links to movie transcript.

A Slight Problem

2008-08-23T17:45:00.003-04:00

Something Else That's Wrong With Baltimore

2008-08-18T21:05:00.005-04:00

From a self-instructional book of piano lessons I'm amusing myself with these days
(sharper image after the link, if needed):

No Ties

2008-08-17T03:28:00.008-04:00

I think it's a good development for presidential candidates to not wear ties. Kennedy didn't need a hat, and I hate ties. Yep. Ties are stupid and bad. Especially in hot weather. No ties. Jesus didn't wear a tie. Did I mention that I don't like ties? Fuck ties. Oh, and by the way, fuck ties.

No ties.

I'm gonna look like a million bucks when I'm 90

2008-08-15T21:16:00.004-04:00

The Olympics: A Modest Proposal

2008-08-14T21:31:00.010-04:00

I'm a sucker for the Olympics. I always have been, for some reason. I remember the jet-pack guy from Los Angeles '84 -- where else does that shit happen? Perhaps it was that I was exposed to the pageantric immediacy of the opening ceremonies to the 1978 Pan-American Games hosted in my country when I was but a very young man (I could see the fireworks both through our front door and ON TV AT THE SAME TIME -- Puerto Rico is very small) that impressed into me a sense of caring, even though I absolutely don't give a shit for sports, organized or otherwise (other than biking, if it's me doing it).

Because of this, I was tempted to write something laudatory about the opening ceremonies in Beijing last week, which was literally the greatest show on Earth, EVER. I knew it was going to be, almost 20 years ago, when I first heard that China was vying for the Games (I mean, if there is one thing the Chinese have down is how to organize 20,000 people into a hell of a spectacle). It met and exceeded expectations.

However, instead, here I am, writing about how the Hungarian weightlifter fucked up his arms. I don't actually have the details of what happened, or just how "horrific" (I love it when that word is used in a straight-news headline) the injury was, because I absolutely fucking refuse to be exposed to pictures, video or any sort of detailed description of what it's like to have your elbow(s) "bent the wrong way". I'm just sorry I glanced at the headline off whatever news web site it was. I not only have a low threshold for pain, I have a low threshold for READING about pain.

My first instinct is to suggest that perhaps young, healthy people shouldn't be encouraged to put their bodies at grave risk of permanent injury while the whole world is watching; young people are already susceptible to peer pressure without the notion of "Well, the last guy lifted 300kg over his head and lived; what are you going to do for me today? And by the way, all possible boy / girlfriends you will ever meet for the rest of your life are watching".

Of course, where do you draw the line? We can't just exclude outright any event from the Olympics which may result in injury to the competitor. On one end of the scale we have (ironically) something like Archery which, while it involves actual weapons, they are not pointed at any person at any time, and thus are 100% safe. On the other end of the scale we have something like Gymnastics, and specifically events where you are expected to do things like a double somersault 8m twirl in the air and land on one foot on a beam 10cm wide (which has in the past sometimes resulted in the twirler landing head-first on the judges' tables, to much commotion and only sometimes in their walking away from it).

I believe the answer lies, to borrow a strategy from demographic marketing, not in segregation but in segmentation. Currently there is the Olympics, and then there is the Paralympics, the Olympics for people with disabilities. I would like to propose that there should be formed an Events Body called the Proto-Paralympics, which, of course, will be a showcase of sports events that are likely to be the source of athletes who can then compete in the Paralympics.

"Petty and spiteful", says my husband, upon being read aloud that last paragraph. "Towards whom?" I ask. Quite far from being a censor, nor a chider, I would really just like to have some assurance that I don't have to see someone self-braining as they "dismount" from anything (what a lovely euphemism for flinging oneself head-first towards the floor).

Oh, and as a rider to my proposal, bring back the speedos, for fuck's sake.

[Pretzel Vitruvian Man courtesy of PretzelFont.com]

Seen in New York: Subway Reader

2008-08-03T13:27:00.003-04:00